Sunday, August 3, 2008

It's all about trust

The Miami Herald recently profiled mediator Cindy Niad Hannah. The best part of the story, in my humble opinion, was at the end. Ms. Hannah is quoted as saying:

"You're dealing with a lot of very different personalities and there are a lot of different things going on and you don't necessarily know everything. You've got to keep everybody happy and everybody trusting...."

She's hit the nail on the head. Mediation is about negotiation, that's for sure, but deeper, it's about understanding the other side's personality and establishing trust with the other side. I know that the concept of trusting the other side is something difficult to handle, and more difficult to put into practice. After all, if you could trust the other side, you probably wouldn't be involved in a dispute, right?

Remember that trust is a two way street. The other side probably doesn't trust you either. So in negotiations and at a mediation, it's important for you to demonstrate that you are trustworthy. As you enter into the mediation, think of some things that you can do to help the other side view you as a trustworthy person. You don't have to necessarily provide big concessions at this stage; small ones will do. Provide the other side with something tangible that will chip away at their negative perception of you.

Trust is earned, as someone once said. And perhaps that is true. But trust can also be provided. Think about ways you can provide trust before your next mediation.

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